nomad

a rucksack full of clothes
memories, in every pocket
and one old, bulky laptop
to relive them all

i find myself asleep now
berth to berth, shivering
forgotten by life itself
and i – forgetting to live

trapped within my own mind
staring at walls made of failure
desperate for a window
just for a ray of light

aimless at the crossroads
dragging my feet on, and on
how i hope this sack were light
and i’d just find home

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unpause

i used to be someone
not special, just unique
floating with confidence
in the air free

look at me now
disgust and pity is all
that can be conjured
through those eyes

i lost my way trying
too hard to please others
knowing my futile actions
would betray my cause

and now i stand again
at the crossroads of choice
crossing my fingers
for life to unpause

raise

stuck in here with nothing but
swirling whirlpool of thoughts
and the devil is calling
for my sins are but a few

the time i gave up on realized
my betrayal just in time
and the time is betraying
for my present is askew

days are darker and nights light
my eyes now bereft of shine
and the devil is calling
for its pupil new

not easy

it’s not as easy as it seems to be
for my lips are smiling
but not my broken heart

am i to suffer in perpetuity
for that one mistake one time
but what of all the good i did

to wander aimlessly waiting for you
for just one more night
but you seem to have moved on

it is not as it seems
for my eyes seem to sparkle
but not my dead soul

wonderful world

i feel lost all the time
scared; petrified of the world
for it stares; piercing stares
to make me look down

and on it goes with happy lives
glossy finish and leather covers
never to find a speck of dust
while i bite it again and again

why must i be in a constant battle
without even a chance to prove
when the world moves just fine
with mediocrity abound

i feel lost all the time
angry; enraged at the world
for it laughs; petty laughs
to make me hurt myself

bliss

so blinded by the popping colors
now blind to reality
a wish for truth can’t be granted
falsehood is the currency
and on we go, ignorance multiplied
averting truth left and right
all i care that my ego is satisfied
so what if i run away from a fight

beholden

i am being watched
through the annals of time
befitting, it seems
that i’m stuck in the present

for past has already
tarnished itself through me
and the future appears just
to tease before disappearing

i am beholden to time
enough to be imprisoned forever
and yet free to feel
my failures over and over