wonderful world

i feel lost all the time
scared; petrified of the world
for it stares; piercing stares
to make me look down

and on it goes with happy lives
glossy finish and leather covers
never to find a speck of dust
while i bite it again and again

why must i be in a constant battle
without even a chance to prove
when the world moves just fine
with mediocrity abound

i feel lost all the time
angry; enraged at the world
for it laughs; petty laughs
to make me hurt myself

beholden

i am being watched
through the annals of time
befitting, it seems
that i’m stuck in the present

for past has already
tarnished itself through me
and the future appears just
to tease before disappearing

i am beholden to time
enough to be imprisoned forever
and yet free to feel
my failures over and over

why, then?

we laugh we cry
we heave we sigh
when kids
carefree

a switch and
grown up litte shits
going precariously through
the motions of life

reality is much harsh
than our worst nightmares
for nightmares are courteous
enough to let you escape

but life, fucked up life
grabs you by the throat
flings you around until
handing over to sweet
death

raft and shore

here we are, once again
delirious and daft
with the same mistakes
thrown off of raft

never learned to swim
for pride was high
desperate, limbs flailed
and shore was nigh

drenched in self shame
with feet on ground
ignoring snide laughs
waiting, ships abound

here we are, once again
resolute and unwavering
learning new mistakes
for success most daring

jealous

if i read what you have to say
am i to like it if it’s good
or should i be jealous
for you achieved what i couldn’t

the depth in your words
the pain in your lines
and all i can muster up
are some nonsensical rhymes

i am full of doubt and mediocrity
but you a wizard of words
my reverence for you is taking over
and yet can’t stop feeling jealous

fear

i have demons in me
demons of my utter failure
gnawing away my life
crippling me from inside

my insidious fears
overwhelming my heart
beats running thunderous
for an unexpected stop

yet i’m to hold off
losing my composure
to maintain my dignity
and overcome failure

how am i to do this
when demons in me reside
gnawing away my life
crippling me from inside