nomad

a rucksack full of clothes
memories, in every pocket
and one old, bulky laptop
to relive them all

i find myself asleep now
berth to berth, shivering
forgotten by life itself
and i – forgetting to live

trapped within my own mind
staring at walls made of failure
desperate for a window
just for a ray of light

aimless at the crossroads
dragging my feet on, and on
how i hope this sack were light
and i’d just find home

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unpause

i used to be someone
not special, just unique
floating with confidence
in the air free

look at me now
disgust and pity is all
that can be conjured
through those eyes

i lost my way trying
too hard to please others
knowing my futile actions
would betray my cause

and now i stand again
at the crossroads of choice
crossing my fingers
for life to unpause

raise

stuck in here with nothing but
swirling whirlpool of thoughts
and the devil is calling
for my sins are but a few

the time i gave up on realized
my betrayal just in time
and the time is betraying
for my present is askew

days are darker and nights light
my eyes now bereft of shine
and the devil is calling
for its pupil new

not easy

it’s not as easy as it seems to be
for my lips are smiling
but not my broken heart

am i to suffer in perpetuity
for that one mistake one time
but what of all the good i did

to wander aimlessly waiting for you
for just one more night
but you seem to have moved on

it is not as it seems
for my eyes seem to sparkle
but not my dead soul