addicted

thrill of a secret, behind closed door
hushed voices, scared to the core
a drag, this life, a drag to forget
needle underneath, and now it’s too late

buried with burden, i’m free no more
ripped hearts i see, i see promises i tore
undone by lows, high only to hate
quest a happy life, alas! sealed fate

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2 thoughts on “addicted

  1. This evocative suggestive poem very much reminds me of the prison of my drug addiction where I was using cocaine and drinking 22 hours a day. Most of the time I was just on my own using behind closed doors as in this poem. But I would go out every night as I was so wired by then I couldn’t stay in the house so my denial told me I was a socialite and party animal who had simply been to too many parties. Quite what party I was attending when I was scoring cocaine in a Jamaican ghetto at midnight thinking I was likely to be gang raped or have my throat cut is still a mystery. When I finally found the dealer he said “how much do you want 1 kilo or two?” I knew I would get addicted and I did. I actually enjoyed the fact that I was destroying myself as my mother was in a terrible state after multiple strokes and I thought I wanted to die. It wasn’t till my family forced me into treatment and I had enforced abstinence from the cocaine that I got a bit of sanity back and realised I wanted to live. That was over 11 years ago I have never relapsed since then.

    • Thank you so much for sharing that. I’ve always believed addiction of any kind lead to disasters. I’m glad you got support from your family and were able to get back up on your feet.

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